


Of Love and Loss

by VisionaryGalaxy



Series: A Thousand Futures of Me and You [33]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: BAMF Stephen Strange, Established Relationship, Heavy Angst, Hurt No Comfort, M/M, Sad, Sad and Sweet, Trigger warning: discussion of death, What Have I Done, hint of fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-05
Updated: 2018-11-05
Packaged: 2019-08-19 02:27:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,611
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16525559
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VisionaryGalaxy/pseuds/VisionaryGalaxy
Summary: When the world begins to end again, Stephen already knows exactly what the universe expects him to sacrifice, just like all the times before.





	Of Love and Loss

**Author's Note:**

> Ahem....yeah I don't even know where this one came from.

   The sand burned through the thin soles of his shoes as he walked, a fire that only spurred him on, he couldn’t allow it to do anything else. The sun in harmony with the earth for once beat down until his tunic was drenched in sweat and the beads that rolled down his face turned into a steady stream. Still, Stephen didn’t dare lift a hand or avert his gaze from his goal, the lone tower spiralling out of the sand and into the clear blue sky as though it could connect the two. As he trudged forward, between two soaring sand dunes marked by bodies and moistened by pools of blood, he did not dare pause. Still, his body continued to warn him of its failings, his throat was parched, his skin was peeling, his eyes had grown blurry, and the magic within him grew increasingly volatile. For all that he kept moving, felt the Cloak wrapping around him and taking more and more of his weight with the silent promise that it would not let him falter, they had a job to do. Failure was no more a possibility then Stephen turning back, there was an Earth begging to be saved after all, and just like the two times before he was their only hope.

 

 

_"Avengers…. Its over."_

_Nick Fury’s words to the gathering of hero’s charged with the protection of nearly eight billion people. He had been resigned, defeated, things never associated with the man before, the way his eye met each of theirs, the way he gave them all a final nod. It was done, there were no more back up plans, no more last-minute heroics or sacrifices._

_Yet, when Stephen had dared cast his eyes around the room at the men and women standing at attention, he saw the exact opposite. Of course, he knew why, they had given their lives, saved this planet, risked everything for this place they called home innumerable times and the declaration of the end would not be accepted so easily._

_They were bruised and beaten and broken. There was no a soul here that didn’t sustain some injury. Tony who stood by his side, jaw set, eyes whirring with ideas and emotions, was carefully holding his shoulder and a long cut from cheek to throat still glistened with fresh blood. Peter, who stood on his other side was looking pale and sickly, a hand pressed to his ribs where several fractures had occurred. Across from his was Natasha and Clint, badly bruised and sharing a knowing look that screamed quiet defiance. Wanda perhaps was the closest to accepting their fate, but the fire burning in her eyes told a different story. Bruce was remarkably calm, though Stephen couldn’t say if it was from practice or simple rejection of the statement. T’challa managed his stoicism with kingly ease. Unsurprisingly, however, it was Captain Rogers who stepped forward with steely eyes to look up at Fury and reply, “with all due respect sir, but we aren’t giving up. We are going to keep fighting until it really is over.”_

_A hand, steady and comforting slipped into Stephens’ making him look over at Tony who was gazing at him with his usual determination. Still, that didn’t stop Stephen from seeing the anxiety hidden beneath it. He offered the man a weak smile and squeezed his hand lightly, prayed his own secrets weren’t so obvious._

_They would all die within the week, Stephen knew this as sure as he knew his next breath, if they continued as they were. This was a foe utterly unbeatable, well…mostly. Stephen’s eyes met Wong’s who was standing behind Fury. He watched as a pained expression took over the man’s face, watched as he gave an almost imperceptible nod. Stephen’s gut twisted, and he closed his eyes on a heavy exhale._

 

 

   Stephen stared up at the large stone doors, reverberating heat and promising him pain. His feet felt leaden all of a sudden, as though to take another step would send him through the earth and straight to its molten core. There would be no more guards or beings to destroy beyond this point, nothing was truly a danger to this creature anymore and it was a wonder it had wasted any men on an honor guard. It seemed as though the creature had emptied its own planet in its onslaught of armies against their Earth.

   The Cloak detached from Stephen’s shoulders and he looked over at it with a sad little smile. “Well old friend, I think this is the end of the line for us.”

   It hovered there, unmoving and Stephen frowned at it. It knew the plan as well as him, and it was time for it to go home, find Tony, take care of him. Yet, all it did was remain, collar turned up stiffly, edges swaying slightly.

   Tears pricked his eyes, a sad little smile gracing his lips. “I know,” he murmured. “You’ve been very loyal all this time. But this is final, you can’t be there with me ok?”

   The collar turned inward, moved from side to side in a clear no.

   Stephen faltered, hands shaking worse then usual. The Cloak had been there since the beginning, had suffered every single death by Dormammue’s hand by his side, had faded to dust while hugging his trembling form. It had spent cold winter mornings wrapped around him and hot summer days gently fanning his heated skin. It had curled up around Tony after three weeks of hard-won affection, making Stephen’s heart swell with its acceptance. It had saved Peter’s life on no less then eight occasions to his relief. It had saved Stephen’s own on thirty-six counts.

   He had started to believe he wouldn’t have to die alone, but no, everyone died alone, and he would be no exception, the Cloak had more important duties now. So, he straightened his spine, held his head high, laid a hand on its side with a gentle pressure and spoke as sincerely to it as he ever had.

   “Thank you,” he said. “For saving me, for helping me, for being there. Now I am as scared as I have ever been, and there is one final favour I would ask from my most loyal friend.” The Cloak seemed to puff up a bit, even as the color drooped in obvious grief. Stephen took a shaky breath. “I’m asking you to take care of Tony as well as you’ve taken care of me. He won’t accept this easily and I will not have him be alone. Please.”

   They stood there in silence for a long moment, Stephen could sense the resistance in the Cloak, its refusal to leave its master. Eventually, however, it seemed to understand, came to a decision and darted forward to press a tight hug to his body, then it was gone, sweeping away toward the portal left open back to their Earth.

   Stephen watched it go with a heavy heart but did not dare let himself linger long. He turned to the doors and pushed them open, breath coming quicker.

 

 

_Silence, but for the tapping of their shoes on the tiles as he and Wong made there way toward Fury’s office. He had responded well to Roger’s declaration, a grim smile and the quiet acceptance of a defeated soldier to go down fighting. Now, however, he was holed up in his office, likely trying to figure out a last stand battle strategy. It wouldn’t be necessary._

_Stephen could sense the horrid gloomy despair coming from Wong, though his expression remained stubbornly in one of stoicism. He was grateful beyond words, had little interest in talking about his downfall anymore then absolutely necessary. They came to stand outside his door and Stephen knocked briefly before entering without permission. They hardly had time for niceties today._

_They found Fury staring at a map, hands clasped behind his back, he didn’t turn at their entrance. “If you are bothering me now it better be with a motherfucking miracle.”_

_Stephen swallowed around the thickness in his throat. “Then you are in luck.”_

_He turned, eye assessing, face carefully blank. “Very well then Strange. Impress me.”_

_It didn’t take long. This plan had been in the works from the moment the first army had set foot on their planet, there would be a single chance, a single soldier, and a single lost life. As Wong explained the details, exactly how the relic would kill the creature, the plan for using it and getting it where it needed to be, Stephen was thankful to see not an ounce of pity in the man’s expression. He didn’t interrupt, he didn’t question, he simply nodded and that was that._

_“Well…I guess all I can say is Godspeed.”_

_Stephen snorted. “God has nothing to do with it.”_

_That cracked a smile from the man. “Right you are. Is there anything you need from us Dr. Strange?”_

_Stephen knew exactly what that questions really meant. He wanted to grant a dying man one last wish, luckily Stephen knew precisely what he wanted._

_“One night. I just need one night for my goodbyes.”_

_That respectful nod again. “Of course. Its not like one night would make a difference anymore.”_

   The moment he stepped inside Stephen was hit with a wave of damp air, rotten and disgusting. He nearly retched but covered his nose and mouth in time to begin the process of shallow breathing. It was dark of course, perhaps the last haven on this rock to hide form the burning sun. The fact that Stephen had made it this far revealed how easily the creature had fallen for his simplistic plan. He had killed the honor guard with what might have been called ruthless beauty if he had ever been a poet. They were designed to entice the creature, to make him curious enough not to kill Stephen on sight. So far it had worked. All he needed was to be in the same room as the damn thing.

   He could feel the relic tucked up against his side in a delicate glass ball pressing against its confines. It could sense Stephen’s magic and was eager to attach itself like a plague, and once it had it would be game over not just for the creature but for this planet and every single one in a two-hundred-and-sixty-mile radius. There weren’t many, but they were thankfully uninhabited.

   As Stephen moved into the darkness, following the energy of life he began to feel a familiar tremor work its way through him, a weakness in the legs that made every step a burden, the shortness of breath that spoke of his fear. It was utterly heavenly.

   Stephen had died millions of times by now, in futures and dimensions and battles, but one thing remained constant. The fear that left him nearly incoherent and shivering. Every. Single. Time. It would twist his gut, make nausea bloom in his throat, make him want to run as fast as he can, and it was absolutely marvelous. For all his humanity he has never felt more _human_ in all his life then each and every time he stared into the eyes of death. It was big, and terrifying, and brave, it was in those few moments before he waited for Dormammu to make a move, waited for his limbs to fade to ash, waited now to break the little glass ball, that he had never felt more beautifully _alive_. It was a privilege, or so he liked to believe, to feel so much before never feeling again.

   Stephen heard a sound, creeping in the dark up ahead and he froze. Heart beating a thunderous rhythm in his chest.

 

 

 

_Stephen sat on the large couch of Tony’s penthouse watching as the man paced back and forth frantically, hands flying across a tablet and mouth twisted in a frustrated grimace. He hadn’t settled since they had been ordered home by Fury for the night under the guise of rest before one last battle._

_There wouldn’t be one, but no one was to know. If Stephen failed of course, there certainly would be. Stephen let his eyes linger over Tony’s face, his body, his hands, memorizing his features to the best of his ability. It wasn’t enough, he wanted, no, needed to feel the man._

_“Tony.” He called quietly._

_He grumbled, still pacing._

_Stephen suppressed a sad smile. “We need to talk Tony.”_

_Maybe it was his tone, maybe it was realizing that he couldn’t accomplish anything from his tablet, but he finally paused to look at him. The look there was heart-wrenching, the defeat, despair._

_“Come sit.” The words were hard to spit out, but he managed._

_Tony hesitated only a moment before coming to his side and as though sensing something was very wrong, he was suddenly tugging Stephen into his arms until he was pressed against his chest, half laying in the couch._

_“I’m sorry.” Tony muttered._

_“Nothing to apologize for.” He pushed his face into Tony’s neck, inhaled, remembered._

_“We’re going to be ok.” Tony voice was filled with shaky conviction._

_Stephen slid his arms around him and squeezed. “I know.” Tony would be, Stephen not so much._

_He felt Tony swallow, felt the hand sooth through his hair, “Stephen…I need to ask you a favour.”_

_He wanted to say please don’t, I have no time for promises anymore. He didn’t, he just hummed against his neck instead._

_“Stay with me,” he whispered._

_Stephen froze, wondering if he somehow knew about the plan._

_“I know you are supposed stay and fight with the masters…but please stay with me here. I want…I need you to be beside me in the fight. I can’t do this not knowing if you are…” he broke off suddenly, hand suddenly pressing him more firmly into his chest, as his own face buried itself into Stephen’s hair._

_Stephen bit his lip to keep back a sob, closed his eyes against welling tears to keep them at bay, hated the ache in heart as he answered. “Yeah, Tony I’ll do that.”_

_“Thank you.” The relief was profound and desperate._

_Stephen took a shuddering breath. “I need you to know that I love you Tony.”_

_“Hey.” Tony pulled him back and Stephen was so very grateful for the dim lighting. “Don’t talk like that. We’re going to be fine, we’ll find a way just like we always do.”_

_“Tony,” he desperately tried to keep pleading from his voice. “Tell me you love me, please.”_

_He saw something like fear appear in Tony’s eyes for the first time and Stephen didn’t dare let the guilt make him back down. They stared at one another for a long moment,    then Tony’s warm palms settled on either side of his face and he looked intently into Stephen’s eyes._

_“Stephen Strange I love you like I breath. I couldn’t imagine being without it. You have made my life a happy one and I look forward too many more years after this.”_

_Stephen surged forward to hide his tears and pressed his lips to Tony’s in a harsh desperate kiss. Tony responded in kind, hand slipping into his hair to hold him close. He loved him so much, and it was for that reason he knew this would be worth it. He would be gone before Tony even woke._

    Stephen watched as the creature came forward, felt horrific fear slide through him, reached into his robes to remove the relic and dared to grin as he saved Earth, humanity, and the love of his life one last time.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed? I still don't know where I got this one lol.  
> Also I did steal two lines from Third Star, let me know if you catch them :)


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